Ζητειται εξαφανισιμη κοπελα για βοηθός μαγου
Ζητειται εξαφανισιμη κοπελα για βοηθός μαγου
-Έχετε βιβλία για την διάρροια?
-Φυσικά κύριε.
-Μου σκίζετε λίγες σελίδες?
- Γιατρέ μου, νομίζω ότι έχω μισοκουφαθεί...
- Για να σας εξετάσω. Για πείτε 44;
- 22.
Επιλοχίας στη Γαλλία των αρχών του 20ου αιώνα.
Spoiler
Η σκέψη μου είναι πλήρως αλλοτριωμένη, ιδεαλιστική, αταξική, αντιπατριωτική και "ολίγον άρρωστη".
-Πιάνει φωτιά ορφανοτροφείο της εκκλησίας. Συναντιούνται 2 παπάδες και λένε:
-Πάμε να φύγουμε.
-Και τα παιδιά;;;
-Ρε, γάμα τα παιδιά!
-Προλαβαίνουμε;
κάνε ψαλίδι θα γίνει ζημιά!
Παλιό.
Ένα που έβγαλα τις προάλλες:
Είναι η στιγμή που μόλις έχει χτυπήσει ο Τιτανικός το παγόβουνο, το πλοίο βυθίζεται, ο κόσμος αλλόφρων τρέχει από 'δώ κι από 'κει να σωθεί και τσουπ ο Μπίλι Ζέιν (όχι ο Ντι Κάπριο, ο άλλος αγαπητικός) ορμάει σε μία βάρκα, μπαίνει μέσα και αρχίζει να κάνει κουπί μοναχός του. Για κακή του τύχη τον παίρνει χαμπάρι ο καπετάνιος, ο οποίος εκείνη τη στιγμή βοηθά μία έγκυο να γεννήσει, και του φωνάζει:
Spoiler
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.
Λεχώνα είναι αυτή που έχει γεννήσει, όχι η έγκυος. Διόρθωσέ το αυτό και γαμάει.
- Ε ρε πούστη μου τά λεγε η μάνα μου και δεν την άκουγα
- Τί σού λεγε δλδ;
- Πού να ξέρω; δεν την άκουγα.
Spoiler
PE MAΣTOPA, XΘEΣ AΛΛAΞEΣ TO ΣTANT ΣTO MHXANAKI KAI ΣHMEPA EINAI ΣΠAΣMENO, TI ΓINETAI;
HTAN one night stand!
"Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. "The Devil made me do it." I have never made one of them do anything. Never. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No, they belong to themselves. They just hate to face up to it..." -
Lord Lucifer Morningstar
- Ρε φίλε, είχαμε παραγγείλει κι ένα συκώτι.
- Ωχχ.. το ξέχασα. Το φέρνω αμέσως.
- Άστο τώρα... φάγαμε.
Ακύρωση τού ήπατος.
σαπίλα:
Spoiler
κάνε ψαλίδι θα γίνει ζημιά!
Το παρακάτω θα το εκτιμήσουν όσοι θυμούνται το "μπαίνει σε ένα μπαρ ένας τύπος που το μισό του κεφάλι είναι πορτοκάλι"
3 guys hiking in woods find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003,50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediatelystarts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family are among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
Spoiler
Τύπος με αλσχάιμερ πάει για πεσιματική σε γκόμενα:
- Καλησπέρα κοπελιά, το ονοματάκι μου;
Τι κοινο εχει το μπροκολο με το πρωκτικο σεξ?
Spoiler
Spoiler
Vielen Dank für alles was mal war
Posting Permissions
vBulletin Skin by Bluepearl Skins
