Fuck My Life

[rincewind2k]

χμμμ.

[HAVOC]

Γι'αυτο λεμε βαλτε κανα δικο σας. Εδω εστω.

[BURNIN AMBITION]

to site gamaei xtes mexri tis 6misi to prwi diavaza e xwnei averta. bookmark kai ta sxetika

[BURNIN AMBITION]

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML


Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

[HAVOC]

Eποc.

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

[Headphones]

δεν παιζει...

...εκτος αν ειναι απο Ιαπωνια

[Darkling]

ΕΝΑ ΑΦΙΕΡΩΜΑ...


ΣΤΙΣ ΣΧΕΣΕΙΣ....







Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I feel in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML (μπιστόλα)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night. I was still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out she opens her eyes and says "Oh, it's you." Then gets up and walks out. FML.

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I proceeded to order without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML (ΜΠΙΣΤΟΛΑ)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having sex with for 6 months. FML

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style postion was fun, it reminded him what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

Today, my best friend, was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML (!!!!!!!!!!! top.)

[perfectly flawed]

my life sucks but i dont give a fuck!!
xaxaxaxa ta spaei to site!

[BURNIN AMBITION]

o prwtospou tha diavasei oles tis selides nika. eimai konta e

[Loader]

Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML



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[pixies]

exoume nikiti

[BURNIN AMBITION]

Today, my cellphone ring went off loudly at a co-worker's funeral. My ringtone is "Another One Bites the Dust." FML

[Deggial]

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

[BURNIN AMBITION]

poso gamato einai otan postarei kapoios edw apo to fml kai ta exeis hdh diavasei? poronomai

[FIXXXER]

Today, my cellphone ring went off loudly at a co-worker's funeral. My ringtone is "Another One Bites the Dust." FML

Entajei, to kalytero.