Let me just start by expressing shock at the reviews. What people might actually like in this episode is a complete mystery to me. Do audiences want happy endings so much that they don't give a damn how you get there? Anyway, allow me to elaborate in the form of a rant.
Last we heard, Meereen was under attack by submarines, or some other kind of ship that approaches unseen. Daenerys had just returned on her somehow now trained dragon and is now looking at Tyrion with all the obnoxiousness she can muster. They then proceed to defeat the invading fleet with the aid of dragons (and well, nothing else), since the attackers had apparently never considered that dragons may be used against them in the event of a battle. Immediately after that, the teleporting Ironborn arrive at the most convenient of times (Samwell Tarly has almost reached the front door of his father's estate), and offer to help her take the seven kingdoms in exchange of independence for the iron islands with Yara as queen. Daenerys is easily convinced because a) female ruler b) she can't count, so repeatedly fails to realise that this only leaves her six kingdoms. As always, Gladstone Gander gets everything her way in unconvincing manner. Based on the speed of the iron fleet, Daenerys should arrive at the 7 kingdoms 4 episodes ago, just as Samwell Tarly arrives at his father's estate.
Meanwhile, Jon prepares to attack Winterfell. Somewhere along the battle preparations, D&D take the time to use Davos in order to remind us just how much they messed up last year, as the man who once said "King Stannis is my god" now says "oh well, Stannis' death was his own fault because he listened to Melissandre, the woman I hate but also implored to resurrect some guy I barely knew, and who, as I am just now remembering? realising?, burned Sireen" (seriously, when I realised he probably doesn't even know what happened to Sireen I flipped out. His so far complete indifference towards Stannis' death is even more outrageous). We get a lot of "oh, no, the odds are against us", peppered with some "why don't you ask for my advice", "what is your advice", "I DON'T KNOW JON, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" (should I tell him about the massive reinforcements that may be arriving? Nah). We get Rickon's death, which only says "we have no idea what to do with yet another character whose story we ignored", we get small reminders that no one has yet understood why the Umbers and the Karstarks thought disposing of Roose Bolton was a decent idea, we get to wonder how, with the addition of two of the biggest Northern Houses, Ramsay has a fifth of the laughably large army he had last season.
But you know what, at least they knew. D&D knew how idiotic their resolution was. They knew, deep down, they are polluting a fictional universe with ideas that come from another (where they weren't too welcome either). So they showed the banner just so everybody watching could mock them in unison with a resounding "The eagles! The eagles are coming!". Yet again, the impeccably ludicrous timing of poor storytelling makes its appearance in the shape of Lord Baelish.
Of course, some of us have been paying attention to the story. Some of us remember. Some of us know that no army from the south can cross into the north except through the almost impregnable Moat Cailin. Which is.....correct, controlled by the Boltons. Remember how Ramsay had sent Theon to trick the ironborn into leaving? In fact, some of us can deduce that much like not realising a fleet has docked in your harbour until it starts raining fire, not realising an army is marching through your lands is also a little unlikely.
So, for once, everything goes as expected. For once the good guys win. And for the second season in a row, Game of Thrones gives us an outrageously bad 9th episode, all because its writers can't even imitate a poor imitator of George Martin.
I know. Someone will surely say that in game of thrones, when everything turn out predictably, that's unpredictable - a reasoning which makes some sense, so you can imagine the magnitude of the failure when you are not the least surprised by the "happy" ending - or anything else in this episode. But you see, the fault lies elsewhere: "tragic" outcomes were never there (merely) for the sake of shocking the reader/viewer. They were a plausible, or probable even, consequence of the plot. In this case, it's the consequence of a sad array of bad clichés. They made a plot which relied on everything going in Ramsay's favour without explanation or feasibility, just to build up the tension for the final confrontation. But that's the way to make a Rocky sequel. Or an episode of Batman with Adam West.
Last season I felt betrayed because the writers had committed an unforgivable sin by murdering (the character and whole story line of) Stannis. This year they, above all else, insult my intelligence.